Monday, October 31, 2005

Halloween Motherfuckers.

Fireworks, trick or treating fuckers, shitty decorations and rain. I don't particularly like Halloween, I think it is a ridiculous holiday for many reasons. This year is slightly different though. Halloween is the only day of the year I can wear one of my favourite t-shirts without being subjected "It's not Halloween! Ha ha ha ha!" or "Ha ha. You are a fool" and other such inane chatter.

Here is the t-shirt. It is a low quality picture that does not portray the t-shirts true magnificence. My apologies.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I'm here.

I have been very absent recently. I apologise. I was sick for a week or two and being back at school has been taking its toll on my free time and my disposable energy. I have a story for you.

I am trying to integrate more fresh fruit into my daily diet as it is mega good for you and I am not naturally a fruit eater. So I'm sitting home one night and I get this really intense desire for oranges. I arise from off the very comfortable couch and venture forth to the supermarket. I spent a relaxing few minutes strolling around the supermarket, picking up some other non-vital goods before I find myself in the fruit and veg. section. "Oranges" I say to myself and head off in search of my spherical quarry. "Victory!" I think to myself, a net of tasty, juicy oranges. I picked them up and bounded towards the cash point. "Here take my money! I only want to eat me some oranges!".

I raced home and safely deposited the oranges in the fruit bowl. I relished the thought of devouring some oranges as I watched some quality television. Carnivale? Conan? Miami Vice? The possibilities seemed endless. I began to peel an orange with the TV possibilites and thoughts of delicious oranges swirling around my head. As a piece of the freshly peeled rind fell to the counter I noticed something slightly odd. The fruit looked pink. "Cool", I thought to myself, "I got sanguinello oranges. No biggie." Then I noticed a familar, disturbing scent. This was not in fact an orange but a grapefruit! I HATE GRAPEFRUIT. I throw a frantic glance at the net they came in. The picture is of oranges, but the text tells a different story. "5 ruby grapefruit." "Motherfucker!"

Fin.