Diplomacy - Ian style.

I read an article recently about the reasons behind the failure and collapse of the League of the Nations and I found it all really quite interesting. I won't go into it here as it is quite an involved topic but you can learn more yourself here: League of Nations

Anyway after reading and processing the information in the article I got to thinking that it is about time for a new form of diplomacy, "fuck you!" dimplomacy. It is quite a simple idea really, but one which I feel could open new vistas for the relations between the earths many and varied states.

Let me elaborate. If, for example, a somewhat war mongering president is arguing a case for invading, lets say, Iraq but you were against the invasion. You would simply stand up, make and keep eye contact with said president, point at him and clearly and confidently say "Fuck you, Mr. President!" Then return to your seat and watch as the president crumbles at the power and majesty of your words.

I believe this diplomatic technique could have averted so many of the twentieth centurys international misunderstandings. Such as the cuban missile crisis. If Adlai E. Stevenson II, the U.S. ambassador to the U.N. had just stood up in the General Assembly, pointed at the commie ambassador and said "Fuck you, Mr. Pinko" those thirteen days of near nuclear catastrophe could have been prevented.

Also I feel if this technique had been instituted earlier, as in before the collapse of the League of Nations, we could have had a very different twentieth century. One of the major failings of the League was its inability to prevent the Italian invasion of Abyssinia (Modern day Ethiopia). Howerver, I feel that if one member of the council had stood toe to toe with Mussolini and said "Fuck you, Mussolini. Fuck you, you fat Italian fuck. Fuck you, Mario." He would have seen that he couldnt bully the League and would not have continued with the invasion of Abyssinia. Also if the same stance had been taken with Germany and Japan I have no doubt but that WWII could have been averted also. But perhaps it is best that things happened as they did because I am a huge WWII buff and without it I would be even more boring than I already am. Well there you have it, my formula for democratic revolution. Fuck you.

Oh and if you really want to add meaning to this new technique the next you are involved in a diplomatic mission try using: "Fuck you, you motherfucker!" It's a personal favorite.